


and still my heart leaped up

by crookedspoon



Series: Red Dead Redemption [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, BruDick Week, Dialogue Heavy, Fanfiction, Imagination, M/M, Mild Language, One-Sided Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, POV Jason Todd, Pining, Tumblr: JayDick Flash Fanwork Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 16:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: Something seems to be going on between Dick and Bruce. Jason decides to find out what it is.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Series: Red Dead Redemption [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1280867
Comments: 10
Kudos: 144
Collections: BruDick Week 2020, Jaydick Flash Fanwork Challenge





	and still my heart leaped up

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 3 "Outsider POV" at brudickweek2020 (which I can't believe I'm late for, given that I started this early. But having characters just _talk_ is a lot harder than having them bone, who'd have thought?) and "Text Messages/New Skills" at jaydick-flashfic.

Sometimes Jason wonders why he allows himself to be so stupid, so weak. Dick asks one thing of him and instead of saying no like he ought to, he's ready to give him the world. It's utterly ridiculous. 

Okay, it's not like complying with the request of "Stay" is that big of a deal, but when it means having to spend more time at the manor than he intends to, it becomes a whole other beast entirely. Especially if it means having to witness Dick and Bruce be all lovey-dovey with each other. Hard pass. The mere idea of it is sickening to him.

He ignores how much it makes his heart ache – it's a familiar ache by now. Dick always does that to him, strips his heart bare and lets him bleed out onto the ground. With nothing more than a smile.

And the worst thing is that Dick's not even aware he's doing it. Or maybe that's Jason's saving grace. The last thing he wants to do is come between Dick and Bruce. They deserve each other. (Jason hasn't always meant that statement as kindly as he does now.)

The debriefing is quick and relatively painless – no damage, all quiet, no suspicious activity, _Grayson could have told you that himself._

But Grayson is too busy draping himself all over Bruce and making out with him noisily—

Okay, no. That's only in Jason's overactive imagination. It sort of happens automatically by now; he's spent years thinking about them doing all kinds of naughty shit to desensitize himself to his own feelings of jealousy. And hey, what can Jason say? It works. For the most part. Now his rage boner is more of an actual boner because yeah, watching these two get it on with each other? Phew, something to behold.

Except, there's nothing to behold tonight. There's no draping of bodies, no sliding into laps, no gross swapping of saliva. Not that Jason expected any of that, but he did expect something more than Dick's hand trying not to tighten on B's shoulder. Even the distance between them is all wrong. Dick is about a foot away from B's chair, as if they were a teenage couple that has been scolded by a teacher for standing too close.

"You don't have to hold yourself back because of me, you know?" Jason jokes and Dick gives a start, as if he'd already forgotten about his presence. He might have, now that whatever bullshit is going on between him and Bruce is in the forefront of his mind again. "I've seen worse from you two." 

And he's not even talking about the Batcave's security camera footage that has given him an _eyeful_ of them on occasion. (Not that Jason should have access to it.)

The smile Dick throws over his shoulder is strained. Not his usual mischievous smile at all. On a normal day, he'd run his hand through B's hair, lean down to kiss him, and he wouldn't come up for air until someone cleared their throat. Bruce might even have his arm securely around Dick's waist, as loath to let Dick go as Dick was to part from him. They'd be freer with their touches, not caring who sees.

Tonight, it's painful to watch Dick's zipped up body language around Bruce. It's a stark contrast to how loose he'd been on patrol.

"Thanks for sticking around," Dick says as he walks past Jason to the stairs.

"What's up with you two?" Jason asks, following on his heels. "Usually you all but devour each other with no regard to who's watching. Do I have to pay now to get a show from you, is that it? Sheesh, everything's behind a paywall these days."

Dick punches him on the arm but at least his smile is a real smile again. "Don't be gross, Jay."

" _Someone's_ gotta pick up your slack."

Jason's show of shrugging his shoulders goes unnoticed as Dick walks up the stairs.

 _Oh no, you don't._ Jason hurries past Dick so he won't have to stare at the man's ass all the way to the top. It always makes him think terrible things. 

If this were a porn universe, he could get away with ripping Dick's suit down and rimming him right there on the steps, no consequences, no hard feelings. (Okay, _some_ hard feelings, but not the kind he means.) The fact that Jason is thinking in terms of "porn universes" in the first place should be disconcerting. It's definitely a testament to the time he's spent getting into fanfiction.

He's already writing the damn scene in his head:

Nightwing's choked-off cries draw Batman from his Batcomputer like nothing else can. Is it concern for Nightwing's well-being that compels him to check what's going on, or his need for control? Nightwing should know better than to get off without Batman's guiding hand.

Not that Batman needs to worry. There are no hands at play, except the ones that are spreading apart his plaything's pretty ass. The moment Batman comes into view, Nightwing grinds back against Hood's face and moans, desperate and loud and hot enough to make stones melt.

Yeah, okay, Jason's gonna stop there or else _he's_ gonna melt. He's already wobbly on his knees, and he doesn't know whether it's the addition of Bruce watching them that does it.

"You okay?" Dick asks, catching Jason by the shoulder. "You look feverish."

Jason shrugs Dick's hand off as casually as he can. "Guess walking up stairs is too much exercise for me this late at night."

"You _can_ stay here, you know?"

"And trouble Alfie to make up a guest room for me? The old guy deserves a break."

"You could always bunk up with Damian," Dick suggests with a sharp grin.

"Well, that's a surefire way to get murdered before I even fall asleep. Are you that eager to get rid of me? Just so you know, I don't actually have a will. There's nothing to be gained from me dying a second time."

"Wow, you just had to get that in there, didn't you?"

"Of course. It's my thing. Can't let you forget."

"God, Jason, you—" One moment Jason's standing upright, the next his vision blurs and his back hits something hard. Dick's fists are grabbing the front of his jacket. "I know you think this is funny, but it's not. How many times do we have to tell you that we _cared_ before it gets through your thick fucking skull? That it _hurt_ to lose you. And that it wasn't something we just 'got over' just because you came back."

"Woah, easy." Jason gently takes hold of Dick's arms, not to shake him or pry him off or anything but just to give him some tangible feedback to center himself. It's not exactly a reaction Jason has anticipated; shit must be real for Dick to let himself slip this much.

"Sorry." Dick unhands Jason's jacket and stares at the Batsymbol beneath. "It's just... Oh, you know what it is. We go over this endlessly and it's like you still don't believe us. I'm tired of it, Jason. I wish—" He sighs. "It doesn't matter."

Jason is painfully touched. It's true that he doesn't quite believe their reassurances, or, perhaps more precisely, that he doesn't know what do with them. Earnestness is not something the Bats deal in, so he has to keep in mind the possibility that it's all just part of the manipulation to get him to play by their rules.

He wants to believe that Dick's words are true, but at the same time, Jason can never figure out how far the brainwashing went with him. He's been exposed to Bruce's doctrines far longer than Jason has, and he's far more hungry for B's approval than Jason is – in fact, Jason is over his own need for approval, thank you very much.

Dick pushes away from him and for a drawn-out second, Jason mourns the loss of Dick's body so close to his. But only for a second, before he remembers it's better that way. He shouldn't be yearning for something that's only going to make letting go that much harder.

Still, he can't stop teasing.

"There a reason you dragged me all the way to Bruce's bedroom?"

"Oh." Dick looks at the wide, ornate doors as if noticing them for the first time. "It's my bedroom, too."

Jason swallows, always reading way more into innocent gestures than there is to see. The hand on the curved doorhandle, the open posture, as if Dick were inviting him inside. And frankly, that's the worst place for Jason's head to be.

"I thought we were going to have a shower first."

He knows from experience that the room inside will smell like spring-clean air and fresh linens, that he'd never find a trace of Bruce and Dick's lovemaking for as long as Alfred is there to clean up after them, and yet it's all he can think about. The smell of sex saturating the air, the sheets artfully disheveled, Bruce's bearing down on Dick and—

"Wait, we?" Jason curses his stupid mouth for running away with him before he can stop it. 

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Dick is pulling his fucking gloves off with his _teeth_ – a sight that never fails to make Jason forget his own name, not to mention all common sense. 

"Wow, Dickie, something must be seriously between you two if you're inviting other guys to shower with you."

"I meant separately," Dick corrects him, slightly flustered and rubbing his newly exposed fingers against his thumbs. He 'catches on' a beat too late. "You're fishing again."

Jason heaves a mental sigh of relief. Saved. "Wouldn't have to if you just told me what's eating you."

Dick shoots him a look before slipping through the wide, ornate doors. "You know where the next bathroom is."

Yeah, okay. As much as Jason wants to know if there's anything unusual going on between Bruce and Dick, he's not going to follow him inside and demand the answers he seeks. He doesn't want to imagine all the ways they've fucked in there, which furniture they have fucked on or against, which decorative pieces they may have knocked over or even used and in what manner.

 _Dick is easy to please,_ Roy said more than once, _and he likes to experiment._

Yeah, thanks for that. Not like Jason needed any more fantasies about the guy.

It just—that knowledge _does_ things to Jason's head and that's never a good sign. His brain already fired off lewd images of Dick and Bruce fucking when Dick so much as smiled at the mention of Bruce's name, so, you know, the more Jason learns about Dick's sex life, the worse it gets. And Jason doesn't need to deal with that.

What he needs is some fucking tea.

\---

"I was sure you would have left by now," Dick says as he pads into the kitchen, clad in nothing but a bathrobe and slippers, toweling his hair dry. 

Hearing a record scratch in his head, Jason stops rotating his china cup on its saucer. "You're going to want that."

Dick, having chosen the end of the table closest to Jason, pauses in the middle of sitting down to look at him with mild concern. "You're about to quiz me now, aren't you?"

"Won't have to if you volunteer the information." Jason shrugs, a smug grin on his face. How Dick ever puts up with him is a miracle.

"Jason, I didn't ask you here to complain about my love life—"

"So you admit there's something to complain about!"

"—I wanted to hear how you're doing."

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. Who else are you going to talk to? Roy won't listen to anything that's got to do with Bruce, Donna is on a diplomatic mission with Garth, Kory is helping out the Justice League, and Wally has his own shit to deal with, so you don't want to bother him with what you think is not important anyway."

Ignoring Jason for a moment, Dick pretends to not be listening and pours himself a cup of tea, a stubborn set to his lips.

"Face it, Goldie, I'm your best option." Jason concludes, taking a righteous sip of his own tea.

"You're right," Dick says, inhaling the aroma of the steaming cup.

"Fucking finally."

"It's not important."

 _You've gotta be kidding me._ The nerve of this guy. If it didn't get him in trouble with Alfred for trashing the kitchen, Jason would be throwing something at Dick now. Not that it would get him any answers. "Why the long face then?"

"Can you let it go?" Dick asks, fiddling with the handle of his cup. "It's not really something I feel comfortable discussing."

"That's not what I heard from all the folks I mentioned just now."

Dick's gaze snaps to Jason's. "With you, I mean."

Ouch, that hurt. "Look, I know I've given you shit about your relationship with B, but that doesn't mean I don't wish you two well."

One of Dick's eyebrows tilts upwards. "That's quite a different tone from when you first found out about it."

"Yeah, but that was years ago. I've had some time to adjust since then. And in my defense, I was an asshole back then."

It was shortly after he'd returned to Gotham to make B's life a living hell. He cringes to remember how driven he'd been to destroy them from the inside. _I've always known you were the favorite, and now I know why._

"Don't say what you're thinking right now," Jason forestalls Dick's inevitable agreement, pointing a warning finger at him.

"Me?" Dick is not quick enough to hide his curling lips behind the china. "I'm not thinking anything."

"Good." Jason settles back in his chair, running his fingers along the carved edge of the table. 

He concentrates on following the grooves and swirls, and tries not to imagine different backdrops to Dick's smile that would take it out of the context of the companionable and into the realm of the lewd and the teasing. _Get a grip already._

"Then I don't need to mention that I'm sorry about that. Not my finest moment, I'll admit."

Dick shrugs and looks off to the side. "Whatever. I'm over it."

"Clearly not, or you wouldn't bring it up."

"Says the guy who can't go a day without guilt-tripping us about his death."

"Excuse me?" Jason says, mock-affronted. "This was the first time in _months_ that I brought it up."

"Only because we never see each other. And it wasn't months, I'm pretty sure it was eight weeks at most."

"So, what? You're keeping count now? And I thought I was petty."

"You are."

"Anyway, that's still two months. My argument holds."

"Case in point. Granted, for you that must feel like years."

Dick's eyes crinkle as he smiles and there's no way Jason can handle the roguishness of that expression. Dick can't look at him like that and not expect Jason's brain to go off in fireworks. The tension between them is so palpable – to Jason's lovesick mind at least – that he almost wishes for Bruce to walk in and defuse it. If he doesn't, Jason will have to excuse himself soon and take that shower that was offered to him, after all.

Yes, right. Bruce. There's a reason he's been staying around and subjecting himself to this agony for this long. It wasn't so he could moon over Dick. He prefers to do that in the privacy of his own quarters, where he's not at risk of being found out.

How to tickle the issue out of Dick, though? Jason is certainly not _actually_ going to tickle Dick. To have him squirm beneath him, red-faced and out of breath, tears shining in his eyes...

Fuck. That's definitely _not_ where he wants his head to go.

"Just so you know," Jason says and places his hand on the table between them, palm facing up, an invitation. "I'm not judging anymore. You don't have to talk to me about anything if you don't want to, but I'm offering a listening ear in case you do. God knows I've got practice now."

At first, Dick looks puzzled at Jason's hand – it's not exactly a gesture anyone's used to seeing from Jason – but then he sets down his cup and smiles. Jason's heart beats faster when Dick's fingers touch his own and give them a squeeze.

"Seems like hanging out with Roy is beneficial for both of you."

Unable to take his eyes off of Dick's hand, Jason brushes his thumb over Dick's scabbed knuckles almost reverently. It takes everything he has to suppress the urge to press a kiss to them, as well. Belatedly, he realizes that Dick may be waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, we get on great. Most of the time."

"What's 'most of the time'?"

They fall into a game of question-and-answer about Roy and how he's doing, and it's a suitably safe topic for Jason. Makes it possible for him to relax for a moment. At least he doesn't have to talk about himself. He doesn't know what would come out then. It's easier to say it's not his place to talk about someone else's secrets than about his own. Especially when the secret he's harboring is directly linked to the person who is asking the question.

They share anecdotes about Roy, about some of the bizarre things he created that they made fun of when they first saw them but which ultimately saved their hides in battle. Dick is invested in the conversation, leaning forward intently and grinning in a way that makes worry seem a thing of the distant past.

Jason swallows. Dick's posture has made his bathrobe fall open, revealing more of his chest than is strictly proper, even in an informal setting like this, between family – and why Jason is thinking in terms of propriety, he has no idea. Not like he has any track record with it.

All of a sudden he becomes aware that their fingers are still touching. If not for his training to stay deadly calm even under duress, Jason might have twitched and pulled back as if burned, thereby calling Dick's attention to the fact that they've practically been holding hands the entire time. He'd rather not make a big deal of it.

"Speaking of crazy gadgets," he says, trying to ignore the heat beneath his skin, "anything new you guys been trying out lately?"

Dick's hand twitches as he jerks upright, eyes gone wide. "Huh?"

"Any new new prototypes in the Bat-tech department?"

"Oh." Jason's fingers are suddenly cold when Dick takes his back so he can bury his face into his hands. "Oh my god, I thought you meant—" he stops and puts his hands down on the table again, clenching and unclenching. "No, nothing new."

"Thought I meant what?" Jason doesn't follow. Unless... "You're blushing. You thought I meant something lewd. Wait, have you guys been using WayneTech's R&D fund to create your own sex toys?"

"What? No, it's nothing like that. We've been experimenting— that is, _I've_ been experimenting and—I mean, that's none of your business!"

"No no no no no," Jason insists. "No backing up now. I'm sensing something here. So you've been experimenting and what? Bruce not up for it?" 

Dick frowns at him. Maybe Jason shouldn't have snorted at the double entendre, but he couldn't help it. Any suggestion that Bruce might indeed still be human pleases him to no end.

"How do you do that?" Dick asks.

"Do what?"

"Take wild stabs in the dark and hit the nail on the head, to mix metaphors. Or has anyone told you anything?"

"Technically, those are idioms," Jason mutters. It's a terrible habit, this correcting others when it comes to figures of speech, but Jason is a bit of a know-it-all and he likes being right.

And if it makes Dick burst out into unexpected laughter, why the hell would he stop?

"Nerd."

Worth it.

"So... was it Kori? Did she say anything?"

"Hm? No. You talk to Kori about your sex life?"

Dick tilts his head. "Don't you?"

"So you do. Interesting." Jason doesn't have to talk to Kori about his sex life. When she's not an active participant in it, Roy does all the yapping to her.

"I didn't say I did, but..." Dick shrugs. "Kori doesn't judge. It's what I've always loved about her."

"Which makes her the opposite of Bruce. Who judges constantly. How do you even stand it?"

Dick shrugs again and rests his chin on his hands. "It's not so bad, really, when you know what it's for. When you know that it means he's just worried. That he cares."

Dick gets that weird faraway look in his eyes that means he's all but daydreaming.

"I mean, he judges himself most of all. If he doesn't live up to his own standards, how can he expect anyone else to follow suit?"

Jason was going to mention Bruce's double standards, but the moment he felt something brush over the back of his calf, the words dried in his mouth. That's Dick's foot. Is he playing footsie with Jason without even realizing? Oh God, Jason is going to combust. He can't handle this. He's already vibrating inside his skin. Any moment now he is going to burst into flames.

"And it's not like what he's asking for is impossible. It may feel impossible to you in the moment, but what Bruce does is he sees your potential and then he pushes you toward it. Like any good teacher would."

"That's one way to look at it."

"Don't believe me? He saw your potential. Do you think he would have taken you in if he hadn't?"

Jason scoffs. "He was lonely after you left, that's all."

"Maybe, but it was no coincidence he picked you."

"I still maintain that it was, but be that as it may. You didn't want to rehash all our old classics earlier, why start now? I don't want us to come to blows over it. Again."

"Afraid you'll lose?"

"I can take you on in my sleep. But if I take you on now, I'll be too pumped to be getting any. Besides, Alfred would have both our hides if we started anything inside the manor." Not to mention that wrestling with Dick in his state of undress would not be a good idea.

"Fair enough, Dick says and gets up. Jason's calf is tingling with loss. "I shouldn't be keeping you any longer. Though you really don't need to leave. If you're worried about Alfie, you can take the bedroom and I bunk up with Damian. I'm fairly confident that he's not going to stab me."

"Bedroom? You mean, like, yours? I don't think Bruce is gonna appreciate finding _me_ in his bed when he expects to get handsy with you."

"I wouldn't worry about that." Shoulders sagging, Dick looks away. "Bruce is too engrossed in his work right now to even _think_ about sleeping. Five minute power naps are all he needs."

There's a note of sadness and longing in Dick's voice, but also one of resignation.

"He's avoiding you. Why?"

Dick's eyes snap to Jason's, surprised. "He's not..."

"Don't gimme that. How long has he been like that?"

"Why do you even _care,_ Jason?"

"It's simple. Something is going on between you, and I don't even need to know what it is, I just need it to stop. Because every time you go out there and you worry about your thing with Bruce, you're not at your best. And that could cost you. Or me. I need to be able to trust you to have my back without a moment's hesitation, you understand?"

"I do, but—"

"Good. So, are you going down there to resolve this matter or should I myself?"

Dick looks dumbfounded. "What are you even going to say?"

"I'll think of something. That he was right about whatever you're fighting about and that you were wrong, but that you're too chicken to admit it, so you sent me instead."

"I wish it were that easy." Dick sinks back down onto his seat with a tired laugh. "I'd have gone to him and admitted my foolishness already."

"So, why didn't you?" Jason asks and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"Because this is not a matter of opinion. It's more a matter of... I don't know, being wrong for each other?"

"What do you mean?"

Dick fixes Jason with a stare, then heaves a big sigh. "Fine," he says and drops his gaze to his wringing hands. "But don't complain if it's going to be TMI for you."

"Hit me." Jason is not sure anything could be 'too much information' for him when it comes to Dick. He is entirely too greedy for anything concerning him. Even if it hurts him like nothing else.

"I think I... I think I'm too much for Bruce."

"That's news to me."

"Remember how I told you I like to experiment? I... I've been kind of obsessed with it lately. I have all these ideas that I want to try with Bruce, and... At first he was really encouraging, but I must have spooked him somewhere along the way or something. Maybe it was my enthusiasm, I don't know. But Bruce started avoiding me more and more, and the times he is with me, it feels... perfunctory. Like he's just going through the motions for my sake. And that's not what I want. I don't want him to think he has to do anything to keep me happy. I want him to enjoy himself, too, you know?"

"Okay, and where in all of that have you two talked about what's going on? I mean, I realize this is Bruce we're talking about, who'd rather swallow his own tongue than talk about his feelings, but I always thought he made an exception for you."

"Not anymore, apparently. In fact, he started avoiding me when I asked him if anything was 

"Sure he's not cheating on you and feeling guilty about it?"

Dick shakes his head. "Neither of us can so much as smile at someone else in our civilian lives without setting off the rumor mill, and it's not much different in our other life. There are only so many people who'd even want to fool around with Batman in the first place, and there's no way I wouldn't have heard about something like that by now."

Jason shrugs. "Could always be an adrenaline-fueled romp with a groupie he just saved."

Dick throws him an unamused look.

"Just saying."

"In that case, if it were something meaningless, he could just tell me about it. I don't even wanna know how many supermodels he escorted when we were still hiding our relationship, but it was never that big a deal."

"So you think you're the problem?"

"What else could it be? I'm the variable that's changed."

"You know Bruce is not getting any younger, too, yeah?"

"Yes?"

"I don't know, just a thought, but maybe B's not into it as much anymore." Jason remembers his earlier double-entendre. "Or, you know, _up_ for it. You mentioned him holding himself to the highest standard. Who's to say he's not expecting himself to be able to please you in every way you want to but falling short? And now he's too embarrassed about it to look you in the eye."

"Oh my God," Dick groans and jumps out of his seat.

"What?" Startled, Jason jumps up, too. "What did I do now?"

"You're a genius."

"I am?"

The next instant, Dick is in his arms, hugging him. "A genius little brother."

"I'm taller than you," Jason says and ruffles Dick's hair, suddenly feeling way too hot under his armor. The scent of tea tree oil and laundry detergent clings to Dick, and for some reason, Jason really responds to the brand Alfred uses. Might have something to do with all the times he's jerked off under the covers as a teenager.

"You'll always be little to me, Little Wing."

Jason rolls his eyes, but his heart is shredding itself to pieces. Dick is grinning up at him, as radiant as the sun. Jason sucks in a breath. A destructive part of him notices how close they are, thinking how easy it would be to lean down and kiss Dick. That same part even needles him to do it, to crowd Dick against the counter, slide his hands over his sides and kiss him, just to see how he'd react.

But Jason is good at reining in his baser urges.

"Come here, you idiot," he says and hugs Dick closer, resting Dick's head against his shoulder, so he wouldn't be tempted to do anything stupid. "Are you telling me it never occured to you that Bruce might have performance issues in his old age?"

"Come on, he's not that old."

"He could be your dad. Hell, he's basically _my_ dad."

"You're making it weird."

"Oh, because it's not already? Dick, if Bruce is basically my dad, that makes you basically my mom. As well as my brother. How is that not weird?"

"I don't know. It's just not. Bruce has always been more of a best friend to me than a father figure. Also, I'm still a guy, in case you didn't notice. If anything, I'd be your dad, too."

"Is that what you want me to call you from now on? 'Dad'?"

"Brother is fine," Dick snorts, winding his arms tighter around Jason and relaxing against him, fully enjoying being held like this. 

Jason hopes that Dick won't notice how rapidly his heart is beating. Who knows? Maybe it's too fast for him to pick it up. It's a small chance, but it's there. So far, Jason's feelings have remained undetected. He'd like to keep it that way.

It's getting more difficult, however, the way Dick's happy little noises make Jason's cock twitch. It's a good thing that Jason is still wearing his cup, so at least he doesn't have to worry about Dick feeling anything in that region.

"Did you know you give great hugs?" Dick says with a contented sigh. "You could make a business of it."

"And cheapen the brand? Not fucking likely."

"Not even for family?"

"I'm not letting any snot-nosed Bat-brat within two feet of me."

"You're making an exception for me."

 _You're always the exception._ "You're hardly a brat anymore."

"Hear, hear. Can I get that in writing? Just in case you change your mind about that later?"

"Some other time, maybe."

Jason knows he should go. The longer he lets this continue, the harder it'll be to leave. He shouldn't even be stealing touches like this, let alone bury his nose into Dick's hair to sniff it like the world's biggest creep. He should be finding other things to sustain him.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Both Dick and Jason nearly leap out of their skin to hear Bruce's voice rumble from the kitchen door. They part hastily, as if caught doing something naughty, and, well, the way Dick's bathrobe is hanging open, the scene hardly looks innocent.

Dick's cheeks are flushed, his eyes bright, and despite everything that was troubling him earlier, his whole expression lights up to see Bruce. It's like a slap in the face to Jason, but he endures it like he always does.

Which doesn't mean he has to look at them devour each other with their eyes. So he averts his own but what he sees instead is not necessarily better. There's a conspicuous tent in Dick's bathrobe and Jason can't help but wonder if it was Bruce – or him.

"Nothing at all," Jason says, to distract himself. "Dick was just complimenting my superior hugging skills. You can join us if you care to try out. Might learn a thing or two."

"I see," Bruce says as he pours himself a glass of water. "I shall leave you to it then."

Wow. That's not the kind of reaction Jason had expected. He wonders whether it would have been different if he'd fucked Dick on the kitchen table. Jason shakes his head. That's decidedly _not_ what he should be thinking about now.

"Actually, I was just leaving. Dick was saying good-bye."

He hurries after Bruce and grabs his flannel-covered shoulder. Bruce's bathrobe is still damp from his recent shower.

"Hey, where are you going? I'm pretty sure you and Dick have some things to talk about."

Bruce arches an eyebrow at him, talkative as ever.

"Yeah. You're going to settle what's going on between you, and you're going to do it tonight.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why is everyone trying to bullshit me today?" Jason throws up his hands, as if lamenting to the sky. "Even a blind man can see you're both miserable. Talk to Dick. Tell him what's troubling you. I'm pretty sure it's not as bad as you think. He's not going to judge you. Remember that he loves you. He'll want to find a solution _with_ you. Don't punish him for that by avoiding him."

Bruce regards him with his unnerving, steady gaze. Jason draws himself up and stares back. He may be a little embarrassed at having spoken so much about such a delicate matter that really shouldn't be any of his business, but he stands his ground. It's as he told Dick, if they have issues with each other and let them fester, it could distract them at a crucial moment – and Jason would rather speak up while he can do something about it than have to deal with the consequences when it's too late.

Thankfully, Bruce nods.

"Are there any other words of wisdom you'd like to share?"

Jason blushes. "If you stop mocking me for them, I might consider it."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound condescending."

"Don't worry, I know you have a knack for it."

And there it is, that disapproving flare of his nostrils. But he lets Jason's comment slide. Good. Jason didn't come here to wreck the peace after he's been trying to restore it.

"I was being sincere," Bruce says. "Your words show remarkable insight and I wondered if there was anything else you might have wished to impart before you go."

"Ah, squeeze me for wisdom, then kick me out on my ass." 

Jason cringes at himself. Even now he can't go without trying to antagonize Bruce. Jason would have thought he was over that by now, but old habits die hard. 

"Relax, I'm joking. Uh. Words of wisdom, huh?" Jason scratches his head. "This is basic, but flipped perspectives help. Try to see things from Dick's point of view. Get him to see things from yours. Change your vantage point entirely. Sometimes it helps to get out of your own head. I know you like to plan for every catastrophe, but maybe anticipate a positive outcome once in a while."

Bruce chuckles quietly, and this late at night it's an eerie sound.

"Something funny?"

"You always did have the highest marks in emotional intelligence."

"Are you saying I didn't score highest marks in whatever else you measured?" The academic overachiever in Jason is affronted.

"I old find it hard to compete with Dick in athletic ability or with Tim's intellect. Even I come up short if I compare myself to them."

"What's demon brat rank highest in? Killing intent?"

"We shall see."

"Okay," Jason says and turns to leave. "I gotta run. And you better see to that worrywart in there. He's probably already wondering what's keeping you so long."

"Thank you, Jason," Bruce says, and the earnestness in his voice is killing Jason. He can only handle so much of it in one night.

"Don't mention it."

He grips Bruce's outstretched hand and shakes it once. He half-expects Bruce to hold him back and warn him not to mess in his affairs again, but he lets Jason's hand go without a hitch and without another word.

When Jason turns back at the end of the hall, Bruce has disappeared into the kitchen.

Jason rushes out of the manor, propelled by the multitude of conflicting feelings broiling in his gut. If he makes it to his laptop fast enough, he might even be able to exorcize them onto the page. He certainly has enough new fodder to pervert now.

\---

His eyes are burning and his body is screaming for rest by the time he's scribbled down something of a first draft. At least his head is quiet now. He picks up his phone to check the time, and if he has any messages from Roy, but instead he finds one from Dick.

We should do this more often.  
  
Do what?  
  
Have a heart to heart.  
  
Did it solve your trouble in paradise?  
  
As a matter of fact.  
  
You're a miracle worker  
  
I just know how to knock you idiots' heads together  
  
Thanks for the head knocking then :P  
  


Jason drafts one reply after the other, just to keep Dick engaged in talking to him, but in the end he deletes all of them. By then it's too late to reply anyway. Dick has most likely fallen asleep already. In Bruce's arms.

And what the fuck is Jason doing, trying to flirt with Dick via text messages? He needs to cut this short.

Anytime  
  


There. That should do it. Short, succinct, end of conversation.

He shuts off his phone and throws it into his drawer, just so that he won't be tempted to type and retype any more messages to Dick. Instead, he picks up his pen and drafts a short scene in which Nightwing invited Red Hood over for a quick midnight romp.

It helps. For now.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Frost at midnight" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.


End file.
